Many before me have said that men and women communicate differently. What I didn't realize was just how differently! Scott and I have been married going on 6 years now, and we still struggle with this issue from time to time. Most of the time it's because I give a lot of details, while he is willing to forgo said details and just settle for the minimum info he needs to understand what I'm saying. Where's the fun in that?! I'll ask him how his day was and the response is typically "fine, the usual." And when I try to prod and get a little more out of him I often end up frustrated and annoyed. Honestly, having a root canal is easier - trust me, I'd know!
So the other day I was trying to tell him about something that happened to a friend of mine, let's call her Sue. Our conversation went something like this:
Mo: When I was at Willamette I went to school with Sue. Remember her? You met her at my graduation. She was kinda tall and had long, curly, brown hair. She wore this stunning Malaysian outfit to the ceremony.
Scott: Hmm.
Mo: Yeah, it was really pretty. She actually let me borrow it once. You wouldn't believe the number of compliments I got. I was surprised because I didn't think the color would work on me, but I guess I was mistaken. People loved it.
Scott: Heh.
Mo: Totally. Anyway, I really liked Sue. She and I had to work together on this project once and it was awesome. She was really a life-saver. The group was made up of a bunch of slackers, so she and I basically saved the day. Man, it was hard work! But she was a trooper! A real team player, that Sue.
Scott: Is there a point to this story, and will we get to it today?
Mo: I'm nowhere near the point, I'm just laying the foundation for you. I can't just jump into it, you know! It won't make sense otherwise.
Scott (impatiently): Let me guess - you bumped into her today and she wants you to write her a letter of recommendation? No, she's moving to Portland. Wait, she just had a baby? Am I even warm?
Mo (a little frustrated): No! It's nothing like that. Why can't you just hear me out?
Scott: Because you take too long to get to the point! Why do I need to listen to 15 minutes of background before we get to a 2 minute story?! Just nutshell it for me! Get to the punchline, already!
Mo: And she cried.
As you can imagine, it took Scott another half an hour of apologizing and promising to be a better listener before he got me to tell him about Sue. Who, it turns out, had been crying because she was laid off from her job while in the middle of a divorce.
So fellas, be careful what you ask for! You've got to ask yourself, wouldn't it have been easier for Scott to just listen to me for 10 minutes than the near-hour it ended up costing him?! Besides, just getting to the punchline leaves SO much out, don't you agree?!